‘Raise your voice, not your hand!’
That is the message of a former abuser to families, especially people in romantic relationships.
Sheldon Adimoolah sat down with Guardian Media yesterday to tell his story of using violence against his partner as a way to express the hurt and anger he felt whenever they argued.
After he was released from prison in Jamaica, where he served 12 years for drugs and gun possession, Adimoolah said he was inspired to change his life to one of love when he met the woman he thought he was going to marry and start a family.
While he was determined to not return to a life of crime during the three years of their common-law relationship, Adimoolah said he found himself in another trap.
“She horn meh and I cannot really take horn so the relationship turn into a kind of violent relationship. We started to quarrel everyday and fighting. Police had to meddle, family had to meddle, bloodshed had to be in it until I almost kill she and almost wanted to kill myself because I did real love she,” according to Adimoolah.
He said he tried to stop the violence but was triggered whenever she became loud and aggressive.
“I use to hit she a couple of slaps and slam she against the wall to calm she down and then walk out of the house, slam the door and go my way”, he stated.
After almost a year, Adimoolah said he finally gave up and walked away from the relationship for good.
He said he has been able to get the necessary help through support groups, such as the Toco Foundation, however, the memory of raising his hand to a woman he once loved dearly still haunts him. This pain, he said intensifies when he hears of domestic violence incidents on the news.
Adimoolah said, “I always wanted to meet she and talk to she and tell she I sorry for hitting she and sorry for the things we been through.”
Hoping to prevent other men from making the same mistake, he called for them to do the right thing by just walking away when a situation becomes tense. He emphasized that no matter what is said by a woman, a man should never think it is ok to hit her.
Adimoolah stressed the need for more support groups where men and women can go to get help.
“It have plenty people who need help and need people to talk to them and advise them to go the right way but the Government not putting certain programs in place,” he expressed.
Until then, Adimoolah believes couples must understand there is power in communication and there is no shame in admitting when you are wrong.